I want my husband to be the Spiritual leader in our home…

I want to share a few insights of what God is working on in me and for my household.  Things I need to work on and pray for to change inside of me.  I long for my husband to be a strong Spiritual leader in our home.  I may have even went to resentment for it not happening like I want it to…but God is showing me and working on me daily.  Teaching me the things I need to change.

Maybe, just maybe you are in the same boat and this may help you too.  My prayer is that it does.  Know I do not know all the answers; I am not yet there.  I am a work in progress and God is molding me daily.

Here is what He is showing me:

Understand how he sees your spirituality. I have a Christian friend and wherever we go she shares her faith and her love. It’s like being in the room with a 500-watt light bulb. Next to her I feel like a night-light. I love my friend dearly, but after a few hours with her, I go home feeling like a failure. Instead of inspiring me, I feel intimidated. That’s how my husband must feel about me, and maybe that’s why he was reluctant to talk to me about spiritual things.  God has laid this on my heart; I need to be mindful of this when I am with him.

Let God change your husband. I thought that if I had a quiet time, studied the Bible, and memorized scripture my husband would somehow see what I was doing and want to do it, too. Now these are all good things to do, but my motive was wrong. I was manipulating, and according to Chuck Swindoll, “Manipulation only fosters suspicion and disunity.” Letting God change your husband will take a lot of faith especially since your children’s souls may be at stake. But I truly believe we do more harm when we manipulate and undermine their leadership. The scripture says, “If any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1 NIV).

I must stop trying to be my husband’s Holy Spirit.  There is only One Holy Spirit, and I know He does a better job at being Himself than I could ever!

Pray for him. Our husbands carry a lot of responsibility. Not only are they challenged to be good spiritual leaders, but also husbands, fathers, sons, and providers. They worry about the future and whether anyone really cares about them. Most don’t have close friends. They need our prayerful support. God is leading me to ask my husband every day for a particular need that he’s going to face at work.  I will start doing this.  I hope by doing it, I will become more interested in his everyday life.  I also hope he will feel more open and comfortable to start talking to me about every aspect of our marriage, then spill over to the Spiritual side too!

Be honest about your own struggles. Let him know that you too have times of doubts and fears and that you too have questions about some of the teachings in the scriptures.  I hope this will show my husband how I struggle and give him a “real” look into my life without masks.

Look at your husband through God’s eyes. Many of us carry the wrong image of what a godly man looks like. We see the pastors, elders, and deacons and wish that our husbands were more like them. Remember God doesn’t look on the outer appearance; He looks on the heart.

My husband’s prayers were simple, but heartfelt and usually make us all tear up.  At work, people look up to him and really respect him.  He is honest, strong, and a hard-working man.  I want to encourage him by lifting him up in his strengths.

Let him be the leader. When I took over the leadership role, I thought it was for the best. Since he thought I knew more, he was more than glad to let me take over. If you’ve fallen into this trap, stop and put him back in charge. (You may need to read that last sentence again)

Ask him questions about passages in the Bible you don’t understand. Don’t argue with his point of view. Consider it carefully. Don’t belittle him; he might not share with you again. Honestly seek his advice when making difficult decisions and then follow it.

Yes, I want my husband’s knowledge and Spiritual knowledge to surpass mine…I want him to go to church, get involved, go to retreats, seminars, and men’s meetings.  Not because I suggested it, but because he desire too.

I want my husband to be the greatest Spiritual leader there ever was.  God is calling me to do all these things and until then, I will stand in the gap for my husband.

Will you?

In His Grip,

Mary

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