God does not usually show us His will by performing outward signs. Rather, He usually speaks to us through His quiet inner voice. To hear this voice, we must tune our hearts to God’s heart. Our hearts are like soil that must be cultivated to be fertile and responsive.

I have six steps that will prepare your heart to be sensitive to God’s leading. Since cultivating your heart takes time, weeks or perhaps months, you may be performing many of the steps at the same time.  In summary, they are:

Step 1: Be obedient to what God has already shown you.

Step 2: Pray and continually seek God’s wisdom and guidance in everything you do.

Step 3: Rearrange your priorities so your primary motivation is to glorify God.

Step 4: Saturate yourself with the Word of God.

Step 5: Learn from the examples of others.

Step 6: Get involved in a variety of ministries.

Step 1: Be obedient to what God has already shown you.

The first thing we should do is become obedient to the obvious things, the things we know we should already be doing. These are the commonsense things clearly spelled out in the Bible. For example, we know we should not lie, cheat or steal. We cannot expect God to reveal more to us when we haven’t followed what He has already shown us.

Before God gives you direction in the “important” things, you must first be obedient with the small things he has already shown you. This is the area where most of us Christians fail. We don’t realize God has already revealed His desire for us in so many areas. If we are not obedient with the small tasks, how can we be trusted with the larger tasks?

Probably most Christians feel they are already obedient to the basic things God has shown them. Yet, in reality, many of us fall short. For example, do we always speak the truth or do we sometimes conveniently leave out vital information to mislead someone? Are we completely truthful when we fill out our tax returns? Do we report errors when mistakes have been made in our favor, such as being given too much change? Do we obey the laws of the land, such as speed limits? Do we tithe?

When we are at work, do we give our employers their money’s worth or do we take extended coffee breaks and make personal calls on company time? How do we treat our mates? Is the time and attention we give our family honoring to God or does our work or ministry command a higher priority? How is your thought life?

The list could go on and on, but I think you get the point. We must be faithful with what we already have. Obviously, because of our fallen nature, being perfect in these areas is an impossibility. Yet, to the extent we are faithful to what He has shown us, He will reveal more of His will.

Step 2: Pray and continually seek God’s wisdom and guidance in everything you do.

It has been said, “A Christian is no greater than his prayer life.” We should continually pray and ask God to bless and energize each area of our ministry. We must commit all rights and control to God with every issue we encounter. Besides asking God for His power, we should continually ask God to give us wisdom and guidance in everything we do.

Many people make the mistake of thinking since God already knows my needs, He will automatically meet them. As I mentioned in earlier, this couldn’t be further from the truth. God wants you to continually come to Him and be specific about all your needs.

In every project you undertake you should continually seek God’s wisdom and guidance. The story of the nation of Israel in verse Joshua 9:1-18 emphasizes the importance of this. Israel had just entered the Promised Land and was enjoying tremendous victory. God had promised them victory as long as they remained obedient.

God had told Israel to destroy every nation within a certain set of boundaries, and many of the targeted nations were concerned. The people of Gibeon knew they were going to be destroyed, so they embarked on a plan to trick Israel into making a peace treaty with them. Their plan was to make Israel think that they were from a distant country and were not one of the targeted nations.

They rode up to Joshua in old, worn-out clothing. Their provisions included worn out sacks and stale, moldy bread. Without consulting the Lord, Joshua concluded they were not one of the targeted nations and made a peace treaty with them. Within a few days Israel found out they had been deceived. But, it was too late. A treaty had been made and they were not permitted to destroy this nation. As a result of Joshua’s error, this nation was a continual thorn in Israel’s side. In verse 14 the Bible specifically makes it a point to say, “The men of Israel sampled their provisions but they did not inquire of the Lord.“

After the death of Moses, God made it clear He would lead the nation of Israel through Joshua. Although this godly man had a close walk with God and was privileged to information not available to others, he still was required to seek the Lord’s direction before making a decision. Joshua was careless and it cost Israel greatly.

It is easy to become careless and overconfident. The story of Balaam’s talking donkey (Num. 22:20-35) provides a sound warning about being careless. In this story, Balaam was instructed by God to meet Balak. On three occasions during Balaam’s journey, the Angel of the Lord stood in the pathway to kill Balaam. Each time his donkey took evasive action to stay out of harm’s way. On the third occasion Balaam became so angry he started to beat the donkey. This is when the donkey began to speak.

After the conversation with the donkey, the Angel of the Lord appeared to Balaam and informed him the donkey saved his life. God told Balaam in verse 32 that He was going to kill him because he was being “reckless.” We have no idea what Balaam did to make God so angry. It is obvious there is more to this story than what was recorded in the Bible. However, we do know Balaam was on his way to do some work for God when he was chastised for being reckless. As we set out to do God’s work, we too should take care not to be reckless.

I try to make it a point at the beginning of each day to ask God to provide me with wisdom and guidance for everything I will encounter throughout the day. During the day, when I am faced with a new issue or concern, I ask God for wisdom and direction. Although I don’t seek God’s wisdom for everything I do, such as, “What gas pump should I use?” I try to cultivate my heart so it will be open to His leading even on small “insignificant” things.

Step 3: Rearrange your priorities so your primary motivation is to glorify God.

God created us for the purpose of bringing glory to Himself. Our primary goal and focus should be to bring Him glory. Everything we do should center around this. Even “important” things such as witnessing and world evangelism should not be our primary motivation.

Step 4: Saturate yourself with the Word of God.

There is no better way of knowing what’s important to God than by reading His Word. The Bible clearly states God’s position on a large number of issues and a systematic Bible study will reveal many of these to you. However, there are still many other areas that the Bible does not address directly. To understand God’s will in these areas, you must have a good understanding of the whole Bible.

Our spiritual walk is like a wheel that must be perfectly balanced. As the wheel is centered on the axle, our focal point should be centered on bringing glory to God. If our desire is to glorify God, then many of our priorities will automatically align themselves properly.

Picture a wheel on an old cowboy wagon. The hub keeps the wheel centered on the axle. The stronger the hub the greater pressure the wheel can withstand and still be correctly centered. The “hub” in our spiritual wheel is the Word of God. The more we saturate ourselves with the Word of God, the better we can stay centered.

Step 5: Learn from the examples of others

The Bible tells us in verse 1 Cor. 10:1-11 we are to learn from the lives of the people in the Bible. Study their lives and see how God directed them. Learn from their mistakes and victories. The lives of believers who lived after the Bible was written can also be a rich source of examples. Think of these people as great teachers who will enlighten you in their area of expertise. Remember, of course, anything in their lives that contradicts the Bible should not be followed.

Step 6: Get involved in a variety of ministries

Exposing yourself to other ministries not only increases your spiritual vision, but it also gives God the opportunity to open and close doors. If you look at the lives of powerful Christians, you’ll find many of them got their start by “temporarily” helping out in a ministry which later became their life work.

Even when you have found the ministry that you feel God is leading you into, you should still get involved in other ministries. This will help keep you fresh and will continually expand your spiritual vision. Some suggest a good mix would be to spend 90% of your time and energy on your primary ministry and 10% on other ministries.

In His Grip,

Mary

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 10,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

I want to share a few insights of what God is working on in me and for my household.  Things I need to work on and pray for to change inside of me.  I long for my husband to be a strong Spiritual leader in our home.  I may have even went to resentment for it not happening like I want it to…but God is showing me and working on me daily.  Teaching me the things I need to change.

Maybe, just maybe you are in the same boat and this may help you too.  My prayer is that it does.  Know I do not know all the answers; I am not yet there.  I am a work in progress and God is molding me daily.

Here is what He is showing me:

Understand how he sees your spirituality. I have a Christian friend and wherever we go she shares her faith and her love. It’s like being in the room with a 500-watt light bulb. Next to her I feel like a night-light. I love my friend dearly, but after a few hours with her, I go home feeling like a failure. Instead of inspiring me, I feel intimidated. That’s how my husband must feel about me, and maybe that’s why he was reluctant to talk to me about spiritual things.  God has laid this on my heart; I need to be mindful of this when I am with him.

Let God change your husband. I thought that if I had a quiet time, studied the Bible, and memorized scripture my husband would somehow see what I was doing and want to do it, too. Now these are all good things to do, but my motive was wrong. I was manipulating, and according to Chuck Swindoll, “Manipulation only fosters suspicion and disunity.” Letting God change your husband will take a lot of faith especially since your children’s souls may be at stake. But I truly believe we do more harm when we manipulate and undermine their leadership. The scripture says, “If any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1 NIV).

I must stop trying to be my husband’s Holy Spirit.  There is only One Holy Spirit, and I know He does a better job at being Himself than I could ever!

Pray for him. Our husbands carry a lot of responsibility. Not only are they challenged to be good spiritual leaders, but also husbands, fathers, sons, and providers. They worry about the future and whether anyone really cares about them. Most don’t have close friends. They need our prayerful support. God is leading me to ask my husband every day for a particular need that he’s going to face at work.  I will start doing this.  I hope by doing it, I will become more interested in his everyday life.  I also hope he will feel more open and comfortable to start talking to me about every aspect of our marriage, then spill over to the Spiritual side too!

Be honest about your own struggles. Let him know that you too have times of doubts and fears and that you too have questions about some of the teachings in the scriptures.  I hope this will show my husband how I struggle and give him a “real” look into my life without masks.

Look at your husband through God’s eyes. Many of us carry the wrong image of what a godly man looks like. We see the pastors, elders, and deacons and wish that our husbands were more like them. Remember God doesn’t look on the outer appearance; He looks on the heart.

My husband’s prayers were simple, but heartfelt and usually make us all tear up.  At work, people look up to him and really respect him.  He is honest, strong, and a hard-working man.  I want to encourage him by lifting him up in his strengths.

Let him be the leader. When I took over the leadership role, I thought it was for the best. Since he thought I knew more, he was more than glad to let me take over. If you’ve fallen into this trap, stop and put him back in charge. (You may need to read that last sentence again)

Ask him questions about passages in the Bible you don’t understand. Don’t argue with his point of view. Consider it carefully. Don’t belittle him; he might not share with you again. Honestly seek his advice when making difficult decisions and then follow it.

Yes, I want my husband’s knowledge and Spiritual knowledge to surpass mine…I want him to go to church, get involved, go to retreats, seminars, and men’s meetings.  Not because I suggested it, but because he desire too.

I want my husband to be the greatest Spiritual leader there ever was.  God is calling me to do all these things and until then, I will stand in the gap for my husband.

Will you?

In His Grip,

Mary

Many times I have asked God this question. Who am I that You should love me? Every time He says I am His child and I am precious to Him. When I finally realized who Jesus is and what a Great Friend He is, my life changed.

Our hearts are barren and empty of love for others until Jesus puts His Love in our hearts. All of us are born with a selfish nature, which carries over when we grow up. It is only by allowing Jesus to work through our hearts and lives that we can love others and be effective as He wants us to be for Him.

How about your heart today, is it filled with the Love of Jesus? Are others seeing the Joy of Jesus on your face? When you talk, do others hear the Compassion and Love of Jesus in what you say?

So many people are hurting inside and they desperately need this Joy and Love of Jesus. I urge you to let Jesus fill your heart with His Love and Joy so that you can be a vessel fit for the Master’s use.

In His Grip,

Mary

Sometimes I want to know more.  I want to be able to make the right decisions for my life.  I don’t want to go outside of the will of God and find myself flailing about in the midst of consequences I actually bring upon myself.  I want more than anything to stay within the pathway He sets before me.  And while I want one thing, I have to accept the fact that what I want may not be the best choice for me or for others.  Ultimately, I want God’s best.  I take seriously the larger decisions in my life.  I think everything I do works together with God’s plan to build up His kingdom and grow me spiritually.  I have various folks in my life who influence my thinking, but sometimes they just add to my confusion.

For this world’s wisdom is foolishness with God, for it is written, He lays hold of the wise in their own craftiness.  And again, The Lord knows the thoughts and reasonings of the wise and recognizes how futile they are.  1 Corinthians 3:19-20.

Futile.  We try to reason everything out and the more we reason, the more we seek another’s counsel, the less we know and the more muddled our thoughts become.  That is when I retreat.  I actually stop talking to people about my quandary, my crossroad.  I sit quietly before the Lord and ask Him for His wisdom.  I rest until I have a clear answer.  That can be daunting.  Sometimes the answer seems totally out of sync with anything I’ve been advised.  I don’t know about you, but most times God leads me to act, not on logic, but on faith.  The leap may be frightening.  I tend to argue with God in these times, just like Moses saying he couldn’t speak before Pharoah.  So God gives him Aaron to go along and help him.  Sometimes I think all the things God used to make Pharoah let Israel go, was to show Moses the power of God’s might.  I relate well to old Moses.  But that is because I take my eyes off God and put them on myself.  Moses was more concerned with his inadequacy than God’s adequacy.  Logic sees as far as one can see before the jump; faith sees God at the end of the jump.  From that vantage point, we catapult with courage, knowing He provides a safe landing.

In His Grip,

Mary

Let me give you 3 examples, and consider which is the best display of humility:

Example 1: A teenage girl walks to school with her head down and a chip on her shoulder. She often utters to herself – “I’m fat, stupid, and ugly.”

Example 2: A man talks to his friends about his terrible job – he doesn’t brag about his job because he hates his job, but he dominates the conversation with talks of how terrible his job is.

Example 3: A woman talks with her friends. She interjects briefly, but for the most part she listens to what her friends have to say.

The real example of humility is of course example number 3. The other two are not really displaying humility. Example number 1 is an example of ‘low self esteem.’  Low self-esteem is not the same as the quality of humility!  Example number 2 is really displaying pride! It’s difficult to see because he’s not saying something positive about himself, but by dominating the conversation with facts about himself he says, “My life is very interesting! Everybody look at me!” This is not humility – it’s pride. The third example displays a mature soul who does not draw attention to herself. She is not consumed with thoughts about herself but shows interest in other people. Applying this to the Christian life – Christian humility is shown when a believer dwells primarily on God and God’s glory and not his or her own self-image.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.

Let us be a people who do not obsess with our own issues and self-image – but on God’s kingdom and glory.

Philippians 2:3-5

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.

In His Grip,

Mary

Family devotions are a great way for families to come together and learn about the Bible together. They should be interesting and fun for everyone in the family.

You want to have family devotions because you know that devotions are a way to keep your family connected and learn Bible truths together, but what about time constraints and busy schedules? What if they just bore your kids and lose their original intent? Listed below are some ways of making the most of your time together and keeping the whole family ready to come back for more!

Tip #1: Do not make devotions boring. Make them lively and inviting. If the weather is nice, get out of the house. Have devotions in different places in the house, and not the same place every time.

Tip #2: Do not make your devotions too long. Rambling on and on is not an effective way to keep your kid’s attention. Get to the point.

Tip #3: Use object lessons for devotions. Having things that your family can feel and hold will really liven things up. For instance, if you are doing a devotion on Noah and the Flood, use stuffed animals, fill a Tupperware bowl with water and have a small boat to float on it. Use your imagination!

Tip #4: Be knowledgeable about the devotion. The devotion will be more enticing if you flow with your words. Stumbling and checking back to references can become frustrating to those listening to you. Give yourself time to prepare the devotion ahead of time.

Tip #5: Make devotions at a routine time. Whether you have daily or weekly devotions, it is a good idea to make them at the same time. This way family members will know when to expect them and clear their calendars for that special time. Making devotions at erratic times will cause friction in the family when not everyone can attend. Avoid that!

Tip #6: Get the family involved in devotions. Let the kids pick out a topic they are interested in or have everyone place topics in a paper bag and draw one out for the next devotion. If kids have a say in what they are learning, they will be more apt to pay attention and participate.

Tip #7: Incorporate real life lessons. While reading from the Bible about a particular event and the lesson it provides, show your family how you have applied this lesson to your life. Go around the room and offer anyone who has had any related experiences to share with the family. Make the devotion real.

Tip #8: Be respectful of the different age groups. When planning a devotion, use different levels of discussion questions and activities to suit each family member. You will still be learning the same lesson, but on an age-appropriate scale.

Tip #9: Switch things up and let different family members lead the devotions. It is a good idea for the parents to lead the devotions a few times, so the kids can get familiar with how things run. But, giving other family members a chance to lead the devotion will make them more excited about what they are learning.

Tip #10: Not all devotions have to be totally serious. Adding humor and laughter to the devotion will make better memories for the family. But do make sure the Bible truth has gotten across to everyone and that they understand the underlying seriousness of learning God’s Word.

Best of all…have a blast! Devotions are a great way for families to bond closer to each other, while getting closer to God.

In His Grip,

Mary

Many of us are what-if women. What-if women spend a good deal of energy and time worrying not only about what might happen and about what they should say and do, but also about what others think about what they say and do.

“What if I lose my job in the upcoming round of lay-offs?”

“What if I can’t conceive?”

“I just can’t get to the party next week. What if Sally never invites me again?”

“What if I never find a man to marry?”

Such worry about what may happen is fruitless. Think about it: our hovering over a situation cannot actually prevent the thing we are worried about from happening. The what-ifs can begin the moment we wake up and often last right on through the day. But God doesn’t want us to be what-if women. What-iffing not only zaps our energy, it also indicates a lack of trust in God’s wise and loving control over our lives. He who cares to number every hair on our heads-something not even the vainest of us bothers to do – cares much more about our trusting Him with the upkeep of our homes, our health, our mobility, and our relationships with other people. Since He not only cares about these things but is also able to do something about them, He wants us to leave the ordering to Him.

When we trust God to run our lives, we find that we are free to enjoy Him and other people-free to live and love, because He is taking care of things. We are designed to glorify God and enjoy him, not to spend our energies worrying about the details of daily life or fearing the pain of major crises. He will always supply what He knows we really need for every circumstance we face. Freedom from fear comes from believing that. It comes also from opening our hearts to embrace God’s supply, even if His supply differs from what we think we need.

What do you think?  Are you a what-if woman?  Love to hear your thoughts.

In His Grip,

Mary

I JOHN 1:7  

If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His son cleanseth us from all sin.

Nearly every day I talk with people who struggle with painful friendships.  Betrayal, broken trust, abandonment, deceit, hatefulness, and hurtful words weigh down their heavy hearts.  They long for close, healthy friendships that will support, help, encourage and meet their god-given need for relationship.

The strongest foundation you can have for building healthy friendships is making sure that your own relationship with God is right.  When you are born again and have His Spirit living within you, then the good fruit of the Spirit begins to grow.  As you daily read His Word and seek to live in the light of what He teaches you, godly character naturally develops.  You learn to treat others with His love and grace.  Things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are evident in your life, and these are all conducive to satisfying relationships.

If I walk in God’s light and you walk in His light as well, then it is impossible for us not to have a healthy friendship!  We automatically have things in common.  Our overall goals and values will be in harmony with each other.  Our relationship will not be destroyed by pride, anger, hurt, unkindness or jealousy.  We’ll confront when necessary, speak the truth in love, and leave past hurts and frustrations at the cross of Christ.

Walking in His light and living His way doesn’t guarantee that others will do the same, however, but at least you know you are doing right and that you bring to the friendship ingredients for growth and harmony.  Remember you are only responsible for your part in the relationship not the other person’s.  You can only control your thoughts, feelings and actions, no one else’s.

For and interesting study, take a look at 1 Corinthians 13 considering this to be an instruction manual for developing healthy relationships.  Think about each of the characteristics of love described in that passage and see how it applies to starting and growing a satisfying, lasting friendship.

Lord Jesus, thank You for being my Friend and for blessing me with other friends as well.  Help me to be a faithful friend to You and to those you’ve placed beside me.

In His Grip,

Mary

I have been asked many times…how can I make this decision?  How do I do it?

Well, my answer was always prayer.  But that isn’t enough.  Until I was making a decision about something big in my life, I really have not given it much thought.  So, I wrote my steps down on how I make decisions.  Here is what I came up with.

Begin with prayer.

Frame your attitude into one of trust and obedience as you commit the decision to prayer. There’s no reason to be fearful in decision-making when you are secure in the knowledge that God has your best interest in mind.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  

Define the decision.

Ask yourself if the decision involves a moral or non-moral area. It is actually a little easier to discern the will of God in moral areas because most of the time you will find clear direction in God’s Word. If God has already revealed His will in Scripture, your only response is to obey. Non-moral areas still require the application of biblical principles, however, sometimes the direction is harder to distinguish.

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.  

Be ready to accept and obey God’s answer.

It’s unlikely that God will reveal his plan if he knows already that you won’t obey. It is absolutely essential that your will be completely submitted to God’s. When your will is humbly and fully submitted to the Master, you can have confidence that he will illuminate your path.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.

Exercise faith.

Remember too, that decision-making is a process that takes time. You may have to resubmit your will over and over again to God throughout the process. Then by faith, which pleases God, trust him with a confident heart that he will reveal his will.

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.  

Seek concrete direction.

Begin investigating, evaluating and gathering information. Find out what the Bible says about the situation. Gain practical and personal information that relates to the decision, and begin writing down what you learn.

Obtain counsel.

In difficult decisions it’s wise to get spiritual and practical counsel from the godly leaders in your life. A pastor, elder, parent, Christian counselor or simply a mature believer can often contribute important insight, answer questions, remove doubts and confirm inclinations. Make sure to choose individuals who will offer sound biblical advice and not just say what you want to hear!

Proverbs 15:22

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.  

Make a list.

First write down the priorities you believe God would have in your situation. These are not the things that are important to you, but rather the things that are most important to God in this decision.

Will the outcome of your decision draw you closer to God?

Will it glorify him in your life?

How will it impact those around you?

Weigh the decision.

Make a list of the pros and cons connected with the decision. You may find that something on your list clearly violates the revealed will of God in his Word. If so, you have your answer. This is not His will. If not, then you now have a realistic picture of your options to help you make a responsible decision.

Choose your spiritual priorities.

By this time you should have enough information to establish your spiritual priorities as they relate to the decision. Ask yourself which decision best satisfies those priorities? If more than one option will fulfill your established priorities, then choose the one that is your strongest desire!

Sometimes God gives you a choice. In this case there is no right and wrong decision, but rather freedom from God to choose, based on your preferences. Both options are within God’s perfect will for your life and both will lead to the fulfillment of God’s purpose for your life.

Act on your decision.

If you have arrived at your decision with the sincere intention of pleasing the heart of God, incorporating biblical principles and wise counsel, you can proceed with confidence knowing that God will work out his purposes through your decision.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  

In His Grip,

Mary